If I were the Marrying Kind

 

if I were the marrying kind,
and thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a rugby full-back.
and he'd find touch and I'd find touch,
we'd both touch together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
finding touch together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a wing three-quarter.
and he'd go hard and I'd go hard,
we'd both go hard together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
going hard together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that 1 would wed
would be a centre three-quarter.
and he'd pass it out and I'd pass it out.
we'd both pass it out together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
passing it out together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a rugby fly-half.
he'd whip it out and I'd whip it out,
we'd both whip it out together.
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
whipping it out together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a rugby scrum-half.
and he'd put it in and I'd put it in,
we'd both put it in together,
we'd be all all right in the middle of the night
putting it in together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a rugby hooker.
and he'd strike hard and I'd strike hard,
we'd both strike hard together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
striking hard together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a big prop-forward.
and he'd bind tight and I'd bind tight.
we'd both bind tight together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
binding tight together.

if I were the marrying kind,
which thank the lord I'm not, sir,
the kind of man that I would wed
would be a referee.
he would blow and I would blow
we'd both blow together,
we'd be all right in the middle of the night
blowing hard together.